Pouting. It gets you no where, Kid.

I had a moment today.  I turned to a coworker and friend and said,

"I feel like I could just cry."

Maybe I should have.  However, I am not a pouter. I am not prone to depression or crying fits.  I am an adult. I talked myself out of crying right there as I was putting together the bread that needed to be baked the next day.  Why did I have such an overwhelming urge to cry?  I have a few theories- but mainly, change.  I love change.  I think it breathes new life into stale situations.  I like challenges. When the change seems negative- it makes me nervous.  It scares me. I don't like feeling unsure.
I don't like not having the upper hand.  'Let Go, Let God', they say.

photo credit: Rob Swihart

  'There is a plan.', they say.

 I don't disagree- but there are times I just can't handle it.  I have a plan.  I have ideas- why are they being overturned?! I get frustrated- just like my son.  Parent and child are not seeing eye to eye- frustration- sadness- tears.  Thankfully, I got over it.

I trust things will work out.  I just wonder about the timing of it all.

I sit here, on this rainy evening, with cold feet.  Literally.  Cold feet about personal change and growth.  Cold feet about work.  Cold feet. My toe nails are purple.

What gives?!

Meh.

Baby Steps or Giant Leaps

Today is a special day. My husband has been licensed to preach at our church. I  am so very proud of his hard work and determination. 

In celebration of this- I made cakes. A large pound cake and 4 minis. 

The mini cakes were a mixed berry lemon. The large cake was just blueberry lemon. Let's just say the only one that was left over was the one I left at home bc it cracked. I dropped it off the cooling rack. Boo! My Daddio graciously accepted the broken cake. He wouldn't turn cake down. 

I sprinkled them w powdered sugar. NOM. 

Now off to an installment ceremony for another friend. Busy day. 

I has a sad.

Good-bye old friend. 

Travel Food

Cupcakes are such a social dessert. When in Seattle, I stopped by Cupcake Royale just like old times. My friends and I gathered around a big white table, pink accents everywhere and that undeniably delish smell of baking cupcakes. I chose, 'Kate'. She's just a plain chocolate cake and simple vanilla buttercream. She's perfect in every simple way. 

I then decided to be bold and try their 'compost' babycake. I know the name isn't all that appealing but it was a perfect combo of sweet and savory. They snuck potato chips into the chocolate coconut frosting. Who knew?! Seriously! This is their link on their website: 

http://www.cupcakeroyale.com/compost-cupcake.php

Literally one of the most surprisingly yummy things I've eaten in a while. 

 And they carry this mug. I almost bought a set. But decided against it bc of traveling. Boo!

My final stop was Vivace. If you love coffee and are visiting Seattle - I recommend you go here. Their espresso has absolutely NO bitterness at all. I know! I could love there and be their taste tester until the end of my days. Plus- they do cool coffee art. Look at the foam on that latte! So pretty I don't even want to drink it. Sigh. 

Did I mention I like food? Did I mention I gained 5lbs while on vacation? Lol oy!

CHEERS!

Surprise!

Today was the never ending travel day. I finally made it just in time to pick up mini me from school. He was very glad to see me. :)

However, when I came home, my mom surprised me with this:

Bettie is my pink mixer. She is grand in all ways known to grandness- but some recipes her little motor just couldn't. I had been conspiring on buying the professional series for a while- but more important things took precedence. Esp seeing how I already had a tiny one the larger was a want not a need. 

My mother knows how much I love to bake. When a close friend mentioned wanting to sell hers bc she's only used it a few times and she had no plans of using it again. My mom did some conspiring of her own. Needless to say after my junky long draining travel day- I came home to Svein. I've been watching the show Vikings- pretty sure this is why I've named him a Nordic name. 

Just a reminder- not all bad days are totally bad. 

Especially when greeted by that face. :)

Seattle. Last Day. Boo.

When it's your last day to spend with good friends what should you do? I say you need to perch yourself upon the iron throne and rule!!! 

Well, that's what I did. We explored the EMP today. I'd never been there before and I really enjoyed it. I think my scream face is perfect, don't you? 

My friend Jessie is directly below me. It felt good to let out a good ole scream. 

Now, I'm just waiting on boarding my flight. I changed to work out clothes and my newly acquired Starbucks logo sweatshirt - acquired from the corporate store during my lunch: 

Anyway- I'm comfy. Ready to go home and see my favorite boys. 

A now much older version- but I love this photo. 

They grow up so fast. 

Working Vacation

So, my job is finished. I'm fairly happy with the outcome. Communication is essential in these situations and some information was left out - but I did exactly what was explained to me. So, I'm good. 

Now, I am visiting friends. Yesterday was sort of a crap day. I wasn't feeling well and I ended up spending my day at my friends place of work. Not exactly the way one usually spends a vacation but whatever. I really didn't feel well and just didn't want to move much. 

Today, I am with my bestie Cheryl. We've been friends so long our friendship could vote. The plan is to just hang out. We are going to make a flour less chocolate cake bc her hubby has celiac disease. I think it will be delish! Can't really go wrong with chocolate, butter, eggs and sugar :). 

I suppose I should get ready so we can go to the grocery to pick up the chocolate. 

I'm excited to make this thing!

Seattle

I've missed you. 

On my way

Sitting here just waiting for my plane to get here. 2 hours. I have 2 hours. I've already forgotten my iPod at home. I had to purchase headphones and bc I am me and I didn't want to spend an arm and a leg I went with the most fashionable choice. 

Yeah, they have an arc reactor on the actual headphones. Wanna fight?! Whatever. My favorite avenger has been and always will be Iron-Man. So, given they were staring me in the face and $20 they became mine. Look at that nifty little case. I could use it at the gym :). 

I hate that I am going to sit here for at least and hour and a half. I worry about everything but my dad worries about being late. So, here I sit. No where near late. 

I need to kill time. I could start my book- which I went with, 'The Beekeepers Apprentice'. I was going to continue on with the GoT series but I wasn't really in the mood for people getting killed left and right. 

I remembered everything but my iPod and headphones. I even have 2 pair of sunglasses bc I'm sure I will need them with all of that Seattle sun predicted this week. I told myself that I wouldn't pack anything I would not use or wear. Which put me under by 9lbs at the baggage check in. I'm sure there's plenty of won't use or wear sitting in there. Probably about 37lbs of it. I even put my camera in a carry on so if I wanted to buy gifts I would have the extra space. :\ 

I think I'm going to pin my heart out for a bit. I do have a few minutes to do that. I don't think I will start my book until JFK bc I have a 4 hour wait there. 

Yay. I love waiting. 

Do gifs even work? I mean it is one of the best eye rolls known to man in that gif of Marlon Brando- if not. Just know he is giving the cutest most sarcastic eye roll ever. Handsome devil. 

Procrastinators Unite

I am a procrastinator. I take my time. I find other things to do that seem like way more fun. Then, reality hits. Tomorrow, I fly out for my photog job. I have yet to pack. I have yet to even make a list. I have yet to do my laundry. I haven't even checked the weather report for Seattle. 

The response I have- it will all get done and everything will be fine. 

I try not to worry over things out of my control, but I can't help it. A worrying procrastinator. Great combo. 

So the questions still remain- 

1. What book should I take?

2. Should a download a new album or two for my plane ride and my extended layover?

3. Do you buy new undies when you travel? I do. 

4. Snacks or no snacks and suffer at the hands of the airport gods?

5. Pack light and pack a carry on in my suitcase for gifts and purchases on the way home?

6. Or ship gifts home?

7. Check in tonight via fancy technology or wait until I make it to the airport?

8. Do I buy pajama jeans for the plane ride? Hahaha this is hilarious simply bc the thought of those things is ludicrous- but they seem like a smart choice for a long day of travel. 

9. Shower tonight or tomorrow morning?

10. Hide my son in my purse and take him with me? Or leave him home? 

So many things need serious attention. ;

I can not wait to get out of work so I can start to actually relax. Sigh. 

Love/Hate

I did it.  I ran yesterday.  I felt great after- well, just until I got to my car. I stood at my car door staring at my reflection in the window chanting, "don't puke. don't puke. don't puke. you will not puke. Jennifer, you will NOT puke."  I love how I can talk myself out of things.  Just goes with my stubborn personality.

I only ran 3.37 miles.  That is on the low end for me, but, I have been terribly lazy.  My new schedule at work practically kills me.  I get up at 345a work until 2p and still manage to toss being a mom, cooking dinner, book clubs, the gym, and pretty much everything else a person does to maintain their life- oh and not to mention my photography jobs and editing time blah blah blah Sometimes I make myself tired just thinking about it.  You'd think I'd only weigh 110lbs with all the running around I do.. but alas, that is not the case. I like food.  Haha.

The plan is to go do strength training after I drop mini me off to school.  I like going to the gym earlier in the AM because it is mainly senior citizens and I don't have to fight or weight for machines. I usually do a lot of mat work at home because I am self conscious about my girls.  I really don't like jumping around in front of too many people.  I get a lot of attention that I don't need. ;)

Here is your morning zen: kitteh

*edit*

Even when you want to throw rocks at something you can still get out there and do it. I split my run up between upper body workouts- but this is me. 

Cruisin' right along. 

Running Time

I've been bad. I've been really bad. 

I haven't gone running in almost 2 weeks. 

Today is going to stink. I'm not going to enjoy it. My lazy non vacation vacation is coming to an end. I will run today. I will run tomorrow. I will run everyday until I hop on that plane and fly to my home away from home. 

I'm thinking the hotel will have a gym. So I will run for at least 4 days. When I transition from hotel stay to couch hopping - I may run outside then. We will see how the weather fairs. 

I still need to make a hair appt. I'm hoping Vain can get me in on Thursday. It has been a long time since I've gone there. My stylist I used to go to for 4 years is no longer there. So I'm a bit nervous. I don't do well with trust and scissors. However, vain seems to really have the best of the best. I was thinking I may even get my hair colored there. Something fun and summery. 

Anyhoot- I am procrastinating. I need to go run. I need to make a list of camera gear I need to take with me for the shoot and I need to think about clothing. I don't know. Being asked to photograph an event like this is kind of a big deal. I don't want to over dress but I also don't want to look too comfortable. Need to find that happy medium. :)