Longest Day

Yesterday was the longest most emotionally grueling day I've had in a very long time. 

Yesterday, October 15, 2014, we lost our little nugget. 

The heartache I feel is not comparable to anything I've ever felt. 

People keep reminding me that, 'you can go on to have a healthy baby and pregnancy.' Thank you for your kindness, but can I please grieve for this one first?

A new pregnancy is just that. It isn't a replacement baby. A new pregnancy is Jackson #3. Just because Jackson #2 never got to be cuddled and held does not make that little angel less of a person. 

I prayed for that little person for a long time. The gift was granted and a few months later, given back to God. 

Throughout my day I had breakdowns and moments of stress cleaning. I washed dishes. I did laundry. I kept busy doing anything that kept my mind off of the turmoil in my womb. 

Everywhere I went, I had a shadow today. She took care of me. Whether it be by my ankles near the sink. She allowed dish water to sprinkle her head without dashing from my side. Whether it be waiting on the opposite side of the bathroom door. She followed me to the basement. She sat with me on the couch. 

Anyone that says animals can not sense emotional unrest, sadness, or sickness has never had a furry friend. She never left me. Even after I sent the boys to bed- she stayed by my side. 

Between the love and care of my husband and son- my cat, Mable, took over the role where I would've sent my bipedal counterparts away. 

Thank you, my little nurse. Even when I shoo'd you away you came to my side. 

She's pretty special. 

Toss of a Coin

Things change so quickly. My husband and I were elated. We had a secret. A secret we had to keep until the beginning of November. The beginning of November marked 14 weeks and we would be ready to shout from the rooftops. Until Monday- my husbands birthday. I began to spot. The spotting was dark brown which means 'old blood'. The midwife assured me- but I just felt something wasn't right. I got told about sloughing and how the cervix gets irritated easily and that there was nothing to worry about. I couldn't stop worrying. By 11:30a I started to cramp. By 1:30p I was in for an ultrasound. By 2p I was being told I had a 'threatened miscarriage' but we weren't sure. 

My joy imploded. I am currently a black hole sucking in all the sadness and heart break. I can't stop crying. I know I have absolutely no control over this. It doesn't make it any easier. 

I feel broken. Empty. I feel like I did something wrong. Even though the rational and logical me knows that isn't true. 

I just feel lost and so incredibly sad. 

Incredibly Messed Up

So. 

I'm attempting to be the cat that fell off the window sill while sleeping. You know, the one that gets up and walks away like it never happened. Yeah, that one. 

But- my blunder is bothering me. It was a sincere honest flub. 

I was scrolling through Facebook on lunch one day. It came upon the, 'people you may know' spots. I scrolled through a few. I stopped dead in my tracks and threw my hand up in the air. The hand holding my phone. My phone slipped. I caught it. When I caught it I inadvertently sent a friend request to the reason I threw my hands up. I accidentally sent a request to my husbands ex fiancé. 

Right?!

I do not know her. I'm sure she is a perfectly decent human being. From the looks of it, a perfectly married, about to have a baby, human being. The ending of their (my hubs and she) relationship was odd. A break up in a voicemail.  This has always been a thing for me. How weak do you have to be to at least not end a potential marriage face to face? I don't care how young or old you are- break ups via voice mail or texts- those are a no-no.  That's goes for anyone. Not just her. I'm sure it was the easiest way out- but have a backbone. Eh hem, sorry. This really isn't the point. The point is- I randomly judo chopped my way into a friend request. 

I immediately canceled this request- but I'm pretty sure the damage is done. Now, what I'm struggling with is- do I send her a message explaining the random act of perfect timing and random fate - or do I leave it alone. I'm sure she thinks I'm some creep. I'm boggled as to whhhhyyyy she was even in that feed?! I'm assuming that it's bc she and my husband went to the same high school. I'm assuming that they have at least a few mutual friends. I'm also assuming because  of my relationship to my husband and the fact that she and I share a 'Nash' in our name - Facebook decided we should know and like one another. I would like to punch Facebook in the jeans. 

I'm not really worried. The last thing I want though is for her to worry that I'm some weird stalker. Really, Facebook was the reason. The week prior it kept recommending my ex fiancé. I'm perplexed as to why. 

So, do I or don't I send her a brief explanation? 

Depression and the Constant Fight

I wish I didn't suffer from depression.
I wish I didn't have to explain myself when I am depressed.
I wish my family would understand.
I wish people wouldn't say things like, "depression is self inflicted" or "you'll get over it."

You are right.  I will get over it- but getting to that point is the challenge.

I don't walk around with a grey cloud hovering over my head.  I am not a gloomy person.  I am sensitive.  This I know about myself- so I have been working on not having knee jerk reactions to things.

I have just been down more than I have been up for the last year.  That is a hard pill to swallow.  How do you tell your loved ones that you've been depressed for about a year off and on?  That sometimes the bouts of it are almost crippling and you can't explain it?  How can they understand it if you don't?

Where does it begin?  How to you pin point when you are depressed?  I don't know that answer either.  It isn't like one day you wake up, roll out of bed, and exclaim, "I am depressed! Help Me!".

The issue is- I don't want other people to help me.  I have always been extremely independent.  "I will do it." or "I can figure this out." are probably the two things I say or whisper internally to myself all the time.

I am not asking for a pity party here- I am just trying to be honest about depression in general.  I know everyone goes through it once in a while.  Things seem bleak or impossible. How do you escape the suffocation?
No, I would never hurt myself.  I would never hurt anyone else- physically- but does my depression hurt my family? I would say, yes.
My depression roars with mood swings.  Anger, frustration, infinite sadness- adding that to a small family isn't healthy.

Whenever I feel down in the dumps I tend to read and re-read this:

http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2011/10/adventures-in-depression.html

and the second part:

http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2013/05/depression-part-two.html

It logs my feelings perfectly.

After I had my son, I went through postpartum depression.  Though- if you asked me then- it wasn't me, it was you that had issues.  I was FINE.  I lied to myself constantly about my feelings.  How my husband was at fault for loving ME. haha Sitting here thinking about it all now- it makes no sense.  I was making my husband crazy bc he was trying to figure out ways to HELP me.  I wanted no help.  Especially from him.  You know, the person that understood and understands me best.  However, he still doesn't get depression or why it happens. As much as I love him- he is of the firm belief that depression is self inflicted. *gasp* - to an extent, he is right.

This year has just been emotionally up, down, and sideways.  We have had plenty of joyful moments- but at the same time, I am there, with depression whispering to me, "are you sure you really feel happy? Are you sure I can't rob you of some joy?" Most times, I can just turn away from it and be fine. Lately, I have not.

If you were to ask me to put a reason together of why I am depressed- I couldn't help you out.  I think that is what depression is.  It is nothingness.  It is black.  It absorbs everything good and filled with light from you. I can't narrow it down to one thing and when I say, "I've been stressed." or "I feel unappreciated." it just seems so trite.  or my favorite is, "I just feel sad." with the perfect response of, "why?!"  There is no one reason why.  It is a dog pile of reasons that just is.  When you break it down into individual pieces it seems completely trivial and manageable.  However, for the individual in the emotional blackness- it is just one more cement brick to weigh you down.

I think I will continue this at a later date.  I have life to keep me moving.  Which is a good thing- bc if I didn't have some sort of responsibilities I may just become a permanent fixture on my couch.

Nerves

I have this horrible affliction- I'm a very tense nervous person. On the outside- you'd never guess it. On the inside a mega stress case.  Normally, I have a good handle on it. However, yesterday was not a day that I did. We were doing mock interviews with immediate critiques afterward by store management in the area. I've come to realize- I need to practice my interviewing skills. I got so nervous I couldn't make a straight answer ring clear in my head- all I could hear was my heartbeat and blood flow. 

I can't stand that I can't control that part of me. So, it looks like I am going to have to practice a bit. I'm not eager to get promoted to ASM in the next month, so, I have time. 

Yessss!!!!

Indeed. 

Yep.

I love my mini me

I love this little nugget. He's a pretty natural talent with the ball. He has one more practice before his games start. 

And of course- being that he's 7 he clearly pays attention all the time. ;) 

He's my dude. My special guy. 

And he's just growing up way too fast. 

I say 7- but he's 6 for 2 more weeks. Let's not rush it. 

Playing Card Theme

I was asked to bake cupcakes for my SIL's moms surprise birthday party. The theme was playing cards. I came up with this: 

The cupcakes w face cards were filled. Chocolate cupcakes had cherry filling and a cream cheese frosting - the vanilla cakes had lemon filling and a vanilla buttercream. 

The unfilled cakes just had the suit as a marker. On the fly I had to find something that worked bc I couldn't find a single topper. I was going to make my own topper but my scalloped hole punch went MIA. I didn't want to buy another one- so, I made do. 

I made about 85 of them total and brought 72 to the party. 

Those are probably my favorite invention of the baking world. I had 3- but during the cold winter one fell off of a shelf on our back porch and met its demise. 

Today was a success. Several people told me I should go into business for myself. Believe me, I've thought about it- but, I just don't know. 

And here I end this with a selfie/stalkie

I'm not nearly as stealthy as I thought. ;)

After the Rain

Found this chap while going to the dentist. Almost stepped on him. Instead- I took his photo and named him, Oscar Gogh

Truth.

A plea to deaf ears

Dearest Humidity, 

My hair did nothing to you. Please stop being rotten. Thanks. 

Caturday

Such a doll. 

Adventure in Depression Era Baking

So, my dad talks about a 'boiled raisin cake' my grandma used to make. He wishes he got the recipe bc my aunt had it and threw it away. She threw it away. Yes, family recipes + garbage = what on earth were you thinking?!?!?!

He mentions this cake once and a while. Personally, I don't like raisins. I wouldn't think twice about it for myself- but he's mentioned it quite a few times this year. 

So, I turned to my friend, the internet. It's vast expanse surely would help me. And, it did. All I typed was, 'depression era boiled raisin cake recipe' and, voilà! It appeared. About 1,000 recipes appeared. All similar with slight differences. Some in tube pans- some in 9x13 or 8x8 or loaf pans. Which one?!?! I ended up going with the one that used the most raisins. My dad loves raisins. I do not. Can I say it again, 'I DO NOT LIKE RAISINS!!' 

Anyway, it's in the oven. It smells really great. Too bad I won't even taste it. 

I figure I will frost it with a caramel frosting. I will deliver it around dinner time. I figure, it doesn't hurt to have dessert, right? 

I am also going to try my hand at caramels today. I have a birthday I will be baking for soon and I am leaning toward a salted caramel frosted chocolate cupcake. I figure putting a salted caramel on top wouldn't hurt, right?

Busy bee. Busy bee. And on a side note- I need motivation to return to the gym. I've been really bad the last fewlontha with making time for myself. And I'm heading down a slippery slope. :\ and can I just make more sugary items? I mean lack of exercise and eating sugar is always the best. I'm a better baker than I am a burpee buster. 

xoxo -j

Treadmill vs. Street

I ran with my son the other day. Normally, I run like a hamster on a treadmill- but he wanted to run outside. Fine by me. It was beautiful. 

Having not run outdoors yet this year, I forgot how different it is to run without that black belt whirling beneath your feet. 

I'm. Sore. 

My turbo. And I don't know why pics are always blurry when I upload them. But I'm getting frustrated. Maybe my file size isn't compatible. I'll have to look into it. 

Kitty Love

This is my alarm clock. Her name is Mable. I love her dearly. 

Oh Beans.

Today is my day off. I am tired and hot. The air is humid and unforgiving. I am going to go run.  I don't know how far I will make it today. I haven't gone to the gym or done any extra exercise in a few weeks.  My vacation and I weren't best of friends with the gym time promises.  I didn't get to go 4 times only 2 and I totally pigged out. I ate everything I could have possibly wanted to eat with a few subtractions simply because I was so stuffed.
Then, when I got back from vacation, 3 days later Stephen left for California for 11 days. Basically, I have been on a 3 week hiatus.  This hiatus ends.  It ends today.  I am determined to get back into the swing of things.  I have lost 25lbs.  I still have about 35 to go.  That sounds so daunting- but I am at least realistic about it.  I know it won't just come crashing off of me like it would have when I was 20... oh wait, I thought I was fat at 20.  Right.  I weighed what I'd like to weigh now when I was 20.
I am not harping on myself.  I eat pretty balanced meals and I don't normally pig out on junk food. Sweets are one of my downfalls- but lately, I have been trying to keep fruit around to curb the sweet tooth. I have just been slack.  I have been thinking about running a 5k in September. I would have been able to do it easily had I just kept up with my work outs.  That is my own fault.  I could have made the time.  I was just too tired to go.  Which, again, sounds like an excuse.  I have been thinking about going to the gym after work.  I mean, I get out at 2- but then, I wouldn't be able to pick up my son from school.  He really enjoys that.  School is only about another month- but I don't feel like I should be waiting that long to get back into it.
I have always struggled with weight.  I am not built to be a size 2.  In all truth of the saying, I am "big boned". I am taller than both my mother and sister.  My wrist is about 2 times the size of theirs. I am built with German and Polish engineering.  I am in no way, dainty. I am in no way, petite. Well, maybe in two places I am dainty- my feet are only a size 6.5 and my nose has been called a nubbin by many a folk. Oh, ok, 3 places- my hands/fingers are long and thin- but my shoulders? Pffffft.  In the 80's, I needed no shoulder pads.
When I played soccer I was a beast.  I wasn't afraid of anything.  I was the intimidator not the damsel in distress.  I took no prisoners and I still tend to adopt that mentality.  Though, I have lost the whole intimidation thing.  That is merely for sports. However, I still believe in the all or nothing- and take no prisoners.  I have a tendency to be so sarcastic that the combination of my personality and sarcasm does actually intimidate people.  Not my intention- but oh well.  I can't control how someone else feels.

Anyway- lazy slack ends today.

Mysterious Ways

I have a secret. 

If I could marry a food and not be frowned upon, I'd marry the Oikos Apple Pie Greek yogurt. I love it. I love it for breakfast. I love it at lunch. I love it as a snack. 

I am eating it right now. I nearly exploded when we started carrying it at work. I love it bc it is just yogurt. There are no pieces of pie crust or hunks of apple in the yogurt. It is pure heaven. 

Yesterday I went shopping. I always go to the grocery store early in the am on a payday and raid their discounted meat. I don't care. I have no shame. I freeze it all anyway- who cares if it spoils in 2 days from the markdown date? I don't. I went to the store bc they have their 'meal deal' running. Basically, you buy a big pack of ground beef and you get a slew of things for free. So, for about $20 I got 4lbs+ of ground beef, hamburger buns, cookies, baked beans, cheese slices, potato salad, a can of Manwich, and a 12 pack of water. Not bad if you ask me.  I then got pork chops, cube steaks, a chuck roast, and various other meats. I picked up yogurt, almonds, creamer, Greek yogurt dip, some veggies, and watermelon for the wee man and spent under $60. It was a good haul- especially seeing how I picked up some unnecessary items. 

I went to target. This place is my personal Achilles heel. Thankfully, I picked up some needed items before I went crazy over a few things that's weren't life or death, like, this sweater: 

If you can't tell- there are little whales all over it. It was on sale. I couldn't say no. It fits my personality to a T. Though, I wish it were pink and not green. The green is nice with my complexion though. Normally green and I aren't friends. 

I then hopped over to Marshall's. Mind you- I was looking for a Mother's Day gift. Naturally, I found nothing for my mother and several things for me. However, I buckled down and only bought these shoes: 

Taylor swift keds for $19. The only thing I like created by that young woman. :) I saved a lot. They retail at $55. Pffft. No way would I pay $55 for keds. It was hard enough spending $19. Haha. I also bought some paper loaf pans. They're cute. I figure for Father's Day I am going to make pound cakes. May as well use cute and disposable instead of ugly and have to chase it down to get it back pans. 

Today I was called into the office. I am a nervous person as it is- being called back is never something I want to do. So, I go to the back sheepishly. To get told my dept has taken a complete 180 since I've taken it over. They are currently looking for people to place in an accelerated management program- would I be interested. Blink. Blink. Is, 'duh' and inappropriate response? Lol I said yes, graciously. I've been put on a list with 4 or so others. Now, it's a lottery. A waiting game. I had just been talking about how I work really hard and feel like it goes unnoticed. I guess not. Now, I wait. 

Needed a bit of encouragement today

So, I made this.

I struggle at times with just letting go.  I work very hard all the time.  I always give 110%. I am probably one of the few people that actually breaks a sweat while working in a sub zero freezer- but there are times I think my hard work goes unnoticed.  That hard work in all aspects of my life.  I am not a bible thumping Christian.  I believe in God.  I tend to keep to myself bc afterall, I have a preacher for a husband.  I guess I should call him my preacher in training. He explains the bible in ways that I wouldn't even be able to begin to form a sentence.

Anyway, I just thought that this verse was appropriate today.  Well, any other day, too. 

Kati Kati

I have a favorite coffee mug.  I got it in 2004 at a downtown starbucks when my parents visited Seattle in October.  I remember a lot.  This was a pretty difficult time in my life. I had made some fairly large decisions in recent months that have impacted my life to create who I am today.

I broke off an engagement to a person I had been with nearly 10 years. This is why my parents were in Seattle.  They had vacation time around my wedding date- why waste it?

I moved into a new apt with a new roomie after finding a new job.

I met my future husband.

I got this coffee mug as we were getting ready to take the underground tour of Seattle.  My dad loves history- so, this was on the list of to do's.

This mug is actually the color scheme of my non existent wedding- the outside is a nice smooth flat chocolate brown.  The inside is a nice glazed light pink.  The handle is the perfect shape and size.  The mug fits perfectly into my hand.  I remember thinking at the time that I should buy a set of 4- 2 with pink innards and 2 with baby blue innards.  I decided on just one.  It was a strange sense of being alone/independence.

I just thought- who am I going to have over for coffee?  It would just be my roomie and I- and at that point a guy I was dating.  My roomie had her own mugs.  I had my stuff.  My doting dater had his own place- and let's face it- I never made my own coffee.  I always went out for it.  I was single. I was well paid.  I had no real sense of responsibility to anyone but myself.  I was liberated and throwing money at a barista at least 3 times a day.  Americano, Mocha, Latte- blah blah blah.  I could slap myself for being so frivolous then.  If one could step 10 years backwards into time to back hand oneself- this would've been good to do... now.

Jenn now scolds Jenn back then.  However, there is a tinge of envy there.  It stares at me, leering like a cat waiting for you to wiggle your toe just one more time.  Frivolous.  I miss being frivolous just a little bit.  If I were to do it now- I'd feel guilty.  I don't 'waste' money anymore.  I don't buy myself lots of new shiny things anymore.  My entire focus is on my son.  Everything I do- is done for him.

Anyway-  this mug.  It is my absolute favorite mug.  It reminds me of a time I should have been wiser with my money- but just didn't care.  It reminds me of new beginnings.. and stories being completed.  The mug itself is a symbol of 10 years ago.  This mug is a reminder of how far I have come and how much my priorities have shifted.  I know to some people this is pure stupidity- but I don't care.  This mug is a piece of who I was-and it is perfect.  I love it.  I don't think about the mugs origins often- but when I do, when I sit and think about the things I have been through- this mug is my favorite reminder of a very confusing and selfish time.  Is it odd that I like it so much?  Is it odd that I can admit to being selfish and that I enjoyed it? I don't know.  I think being honest with yourself and your loved ones is one of the best thing you can do.

I admit it.  I am not perfect.

On this rainy evening I am sitting here drinking coffee out of this much adored mug.  I am drinking Kati Kati. It isn't my complete favorite- but it is up there in the top 5 coffees. It is sparking me to think of a time when things seemed so muddled and confusing.  Really, I just over complicated things on my own.  It was a simple time, really.

I wasn't in love with the person I was going to marry.
He wasn't in love with me. Though, I don't think he would agree with this statement. However, you don't treat people you love the way I had been.
I was hurt.  I was angry.  I was scared.
I had a realization that he and I were not meant to be.  We differed on so many levels.  I saw divorce in our future and we weren't even married yet.
Then came the admittance of infidelities. I. was. over. it.
I lost friends.  So, I guess they weren't really friends to begin with.
I lost weight. Rapidly.
I gained friends.
I gained weight.
I gained a husband that actually loves and cares for me completely.
I gained a son. The best gift I have ever been given.
I gained an understanding of self..

and all of this is realized when I drink coffee out of this coffee mug.

I am a better person than I was 10 years ago.  I am still learning and growing.  I now give myself some slack.  I made the right decisions.  I now look back at it all as a lesson.

My snugglebug

She's my buddy. She cat napped with me this afternoon. ❤️

How are ya, How have you been

Don't bother to pack your bags or a map...

I always cry at endings.

I've got a hunger twisting my stomach into knots..

Iron and Wine Kind of Day

Pouting. It gets you no where, Kid.

I had a moment today.  I turned to a coworker and friend and said,

"I feel like I could just cry."

Maybe I should have.  However, I am not a pouter. I am not prone to depression or crying fits.  I am an adult. I talked myself out of crying right there as I was putting together the bread that needed to be baked the next day.  Why did I have such an overwhelming urge to cry?  I have a few theories- but mainly, change.  I love change.  I think it breathes new life into stale situations.  I like challenges. When the change seems negative- it makes me nervous.  It scares me. I don't like feeling unsure.
I don't like not having the upper hand.  'Let Go, Let God', they say.

photo credit: Rob Swihart

  'There is a plan.', they say.

 I don't disagree- but there are times I just can't handle it.  I have a plan.  I have ideas- why are they being overturned?! I get frustrated- just like my son.  Parent and child are not seeing eye to eye- frustration- sadness- tears.  Thankfully, I got over it.

I trust things will work out.  I just wonder about the timing of it all.

I sit here, on this rainy evening, with cold feet.  Literally.  Cold feet about personal change and growth.  Cold feet about work.  Cold feet. My toe nails are purple.

What gives?!

Meh.

Baby Steps or Giant Leaps

Today is a special day. My husband has been licensed to preach at our church. I  am so very proud of his hard work and determination. 

In celebration of this- I made cakes. A large pound cake and 4 minis. 

The mini cakes were a mixed berry lemon. The large cake was just blueberry lemon. Let's just say the only one that was left over was the one I left at home bc it cracked. I dropped it off the cooling rack. Boo! My Daddio graciously accepted the broken cake. He wouldn't turn cake down. 

I sprinkled them w powdered sugar. NOM. 

Now off to an installment ceremony for another friend. Busy day. 

I has a sad.

Good-bye old friend. 

Travel Food

Cupcakes are such a social dessert. When in Seattle, I stopped by Cupcake Royale just like old times. My friends and I gathered around a big white table, pink accents everywhere and that undeniably delish smell of baking cupcakes. I chose, 'Kate'. She's just a plain chocolate cake and simple vanilla buttercream. She's perfect in every simple way. 

I then decided to be bold and try their 'compost' babycake. I know the name isn't all that appealing but it was a perfect combo of sweet and savory. They snuck potato chips into the chocolate coconut frosting. Who knew?! Seriously! This is their link on their website: 

http://www.cupcakeroyale.com/compost-cupcake.php

Literally one of the most surprisingly yummy things I've eaten in a while. 

 And they carry this mug. I almost bought a set. But decided against it bc of traveling. Boo!

My final stop was Vivace. If you love coffee and are visiting Seattle - I recommend you go here. Their espresso has absolutely NO bitterness at all. I know! I could love there and be their taste tester until the end of my days. Plus- they do cool coffee art. Look at the foam on that latte! So pretty I don't even want to drink it. Sigh. 

Did I mention I like food? Did I mention I gained 5lbs while on vacation? Lol oy!

CHEERS!

Surprise!

Today was the never ending travel day. I finally made it just in time to pick up mini me from school. He was very glad to see me. :)

However, when I came home, my mom surprised me with this:

Bettie is my pink mixer. She is grand in all ways known to grandness- but some recipes her little motor just couldn't. I had been conspiring on buying the professional series for a while- but more important things took precedence. Esp seeing how I already had a tiny one the larger was a want not a need. 

My mother knows how much I love to bake. When a close friend mentioned wanting to sell hers bc she's only used it a few times and she had no plans of using it again. My mom did some conspiring of her own. Needless to say after my junky long draining travel day- I came home to Svein. I've been watching the show Vikings- pretty sure this is why I've named him a Nordic name. 

Just a reminder- not all bad days are totally bad. 

Especially when greeted by that face. :)

Seattle. Last Day. Boo.

When it's your last day to spend with good friends what should you do? I say you need to perch yourself upon the iron throne and rule!!! 

Well, that's what I did. We explored the EMP today. I'd never been there before and I really enjoyed it. I think my scream face is perfect, don't you? 

My friend Jessie is directly below me. It felt good to let out a good ole scream. 

Now, I'm just waiting on boarding my flight. I changed to work out clothes and my newly acquired Starbucks logo sweatshirt - acquired from the corporate store during my lunch: 

Anyway- I'm comfy. Ready to go home and see my favorite boys. 

A now much older version- but I love this photo. 

They grow up so fast. 

Working Vacation

So, my job is finished. I'm fairly happy with the outcome. Communication is essential in these situations and some information was left out - but I did exactly what was explained to me. So, I'm good. 

Now, I am visiting friends. Yesterday was sort of a crap day. I wasn't feeling well and I ended up spending my day at my friends place of work. Not exactly the way one usually spends a vacation but whatever. I really didn't feel well and just didn't want to move much. 

Today, I am with my bestie Cheryl. We've been friends so long our friendship could vote. The plan is to just hang out. We are going to make a flour less chocolate cake bc her hubby has celiac disease. I think it will be delish! Can't really go wrong with chocolate, butter, eggs and sugar :). 

I suppose I should get ready so we can go to the grocery to pick up the chocolate. 

I'm excited to make this thing!

Seattle

I've missed you.