Yesterday, October 15, 2014, we lost our little nugget.
The heartache I feel is not comparable to anything I've ever felt.
People keep reminding me that, 'you can go on to have a healthy baby and pregnancy.' Thank you for your kindness, but can I please grieve for this one first?
A new pregnancy is just that. It isn't a replacement baby. A new pregnancy is Jackson #3. Just because Jackson #2 never got to be cuddled and held does not make that little angel less of a person.
I prayed for that little person for a long time. The gift was granted and a few months later, given back to God.
Throughout my day I had breakdowns and moments of stress cleaning. I washed dishes. I did laundry. I kept busy doing anything that kept my mind off of the turmoil in my womb.
Everywhere I went, I had a shadow today. She took care of me. Whether it be by my ankles near the sink. She allowed dish water to sprinkle her head without dashing from my side. Whether it be waiting on the opposite side of the bathroom door. She followed me to the basement. She sat with me on the couch.
Anyone that says animals can not sense emotional unrest, sadness, or sickness has never had a furry friend. She never left me. Even after I sent the boys to bed- she stayed by my side.
Between the love and care of my husband and son- my cat, Mable, took over the role where I would've sent my bipedal counterparts away.
Thank you, my little nurse. Even when I shoo'd you away you came to my side. 
She's pretty special.
