Pouting. It gets you no where, Kid.

I had a moment today.  I turned to a coworker and friend and said,

"I feel like I could just cry."

Maybe I should have.  However, I am not a pouter. I am not prone to depression or crying fits.  I am an adult. I talked myself out of crying right there as I was putting together the bread that needed to be baked the next day.  Why did I have such an overwhelming urge to cry?  I have a few theories- but mainly, change.  I love change.  I think it breathes new life into stale situations.  I like challenges. When the change seems negative- it makes me nervous.  It scares me. I don't like feeling unsure.
I don't like not having the upper hand.  'Let Go, Let God', they say.

photo credit: Rob Swihart

  'There is a plan.', they say.

 I don't disagree- but there are times I just can't handle it.  I have a plan.  I have ideas- why are they being overturned?! I get frustrated- just like my son.  Parent and child are not seeing eye to eye- frustration- sadness- tears.  Thankfully, I got over it.

I trust things will work out.  I just wonder about the timing of it all.

I sit here, on this rainy evening, with cold feet.  Literally.  Cold feet about personal change and growth.  Cold feet about work.  Cold feet. My toe nails are purple.

What gives?!