Things change so quickly. My husband and I were elated. We had a secret. A secret we had to keep until the beginning of November. The beginning of November marked 14 weeks and we would be ready to shout from the rooftops. Until Monday- my husbands birthday. I began to spot. The spotting was dark brown which means 'old blood'. The midwife assured me- but I just felt something wasn't right. I got told about sloughing and how the cervix gets irritated easily and that there was nothing to worry about. I couldn't stop worrying. By 11:30a I started to cramp. By 1:30p I was in for an ultrasound. By 2p I was being told I had a 'threatened miscarriage' but we weren't sure.
My joy imploded. I am currently a black hole sucking in all the sadness and heart break. I can't stop crying. I know I have absolutely no control over this. It doesn't make it any easier.
I feel broken. Empty. I feel like I did something wrong. Even though the rational and logical me knows that isn't true.
I just feel lost and so incredibly sad.
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