Oh Beans.

Today is my day off. I am tired and hot. The air is humid and unforgiving. I am going to go run.  I don't know how far I will make it today. I haven't gone to the gym or done any extra exercise in a few weeks.  My vacation and I weren't best of friends with the gym time promises.  I didn't get to go 4 times only 2 and I totally pigged out. I ate everything I could have possibly wanted to eat with a few subtractions simply because I was so stuffed.
Then, when I got back from vacation, 3 days later Stephen left for California for 11 days. Basically, I have been on a 3 week hiatus.  This hiatus ends.  It ends today.  I am determined to get back into the swing of things.  I have lost 25lbs.  I still have about 35 to go.  That sounds so daunting- but I am at least realistic about it.  I know it won't just come crashing off of me like it would have when I was 20... oh wait, I thought I was fat at 20.  Right.  I weighed what I'd like to weigh now when I was 20.
I am not harping on myself.  I eat pretty balanced meals and I don't normally pig out on junk food. Sweets are one of my downfalls- but lately, I have been trying to keep fruit around to curb the sweet tooth. I have just been slack.  I have been thinking about running a 5k in September. I would have been able to do it easily had I just kept up with my work outs.  That is my own fault.  I could have made the time.  I was just too tired to go.  Which, again, sounds like an excuse.  I have been thinking about going to the gym after work.  I mean, I get out at 2- but then, I wouldn't be able to pick up my son from school.  He really enjoys that.  School is only about another month- but I don't feel like I should be waiting that long to get back into it.
I have always struggled with weight.  I am not built to be a size 2.  In all truth of the saying, I am "big boned". I am taller than both my mother and sister.  My wrist is about 2 times the size of theirs. I am built with German and Polish engineering.  I am in no way, dainty. I am in no way, petite. Well, maybe in two places I am dainty- my feet are only a size 6.5 and my nose has been called a nubbin by many a folk. Oh, ok, 3 places- my hands/fingers are long and thin- but my shoulders? Pffffft.  In the 80's, I needed no shoulder pads.
When I played soccer I was a beast.  I wasn't afraid of anything.  I was the intimidator not the damsel in distress.  I took no prisoners and I still tend to adopt that mentality.  Though, I have lost the whole intimidation thing.  That is merely for sports. However, I still believe in the all or nothing- and take no prisoners.  I have a tendency to be so sarcastic that the combination of my personality and sarcasm does actually intimidate people.  Not my intention- but oh well.  I can't control how someone else feels.

Anyway- lazy slack ends today.